小幽默

李琳

God's Masterpiece

If you think MonaLisa is gorgeous， you should look at my masterpiece in the mirror.

上帝的杰作

如果你认为蒙娜丽莎美得惊人，那么你应该在镜子里看看我的杰作。

Borrow Money

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.

借钱

记得找悲观主义者借钱，他不指望你还钱。

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom： Mom， can I have two pieces of cake， please？

Mom： Certainly—take this piece and cut it two！

两块蛋糕

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？

妈妈：当然可以——拿这块蛋糕，把它切成两

块吧！

A Businessman's Idea

A family moved from the city to the suburbs， and were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their house. So they bought the largest dog available from a near-by dealer.

Shortly afterwards the house was broken at night by burglars while the dog was asleep. The householder went to the dealer and told him about it.

“Well， what you need now，” said the dealer， “is a little dog to wake up the dog.”

商人的主意

一户人家从城里搬到郊区，有人告诉他们应该买一条看门狗来守家。于是他们就去附近的一个商人那里买了一条最大的狗。

不久之后，夜贼闯进他们家时那条狗却一直在睡觉。这家的主人去找那个商人告诉他这件事。

“那么，”商人说，“你们现在还需要一条小狗来叫醒这条狗。”

Sale

When we decided to sell our house， we nailed “FOR SALE BY OWNER” signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long， the doorbell rang. “How much are you asking for the trees？” a young man asked.

拍卖

我们决定卖掉我们的房子。于是，我们就在院前的大树上钉了两块牌子，上面写着：“拍卖。”没过多久，我们的门铃就响了。一位年轻人问：“你们的树想卖多少钱？”

What are the two words？

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. “My dear，” said the old lady， “I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy and the other is ‘swell. Would you promise me that？”

“Why， sure， Granny，” said the girl. “What are the two words？”

是哪兩个词？

一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。“我亲爱的，”老夫人说，“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词，一个是‘讨厌的'，另一个是‘极好的'。你能答应我吗？”

“噢，当然，奶奶。”女孩说：“是哪两个词？”