善用思维导图，助力读后续写

刘嫦云

读后续写是一种将阅读与写作紧密结合的新题型。考生在一定的限制性条件下，运用合理的想象进行续写，创造性地完成一个故事，具有较大的挑战性。那么如何有效地开展续写并获得高分呢？笔者以2020年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写为例，说明如何善于利用各类思维导图，助力完成读后续写。

真题再现

阅读下面材料，根据其内界和所给段落开头语续写两段， 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline， some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.

Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems， and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time， she would bring food and medicine to them.

One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed， his wife， who took care of him and could not go out to work， and their little boy. The little boy—his name was Bernard—had interested her very much.

“I wish you could see him，”she said to her own children， John， Harry， and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money， but I dont see what he can do.”

After their mother left the room， the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money，”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”

“So do I，”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”

For some moments， John said nothing， but， suddenly， he sprang to his feet and cried，“I have a great idea！I have a solution that we can all help accomplish（完成）.”

The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea， it was sure to be a good one. Ill tell you what we can do，”said John.“You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us？ Well， we can make popcorn（爆米花）， and put it into paper bags， and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”

注意：

1. 续写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too.

With everything ready. Bernard started out on his new business.

一、速度全文，获取大意

续写基本上是记叙文。记叙文离不开六要素：who， when， where， what， why， how， 即五个W和一个H。快速阅读时找出六要素，文章的写作线索自然水落石出。

我们把六要素联合起来，就可得知原文的主要内容：John， Harry和Clara三个孩子生活在一个小社区，当时经济萧条。当得知社区的另一个小男孩Bernard因為父亲卧病在床，母亲需要照顾父亲无法外出工作而需要帮助后，三个孩子想出了一个绝妙的主意帮助他。

二、精读原文，解读主题

续写是对原文的延伸。我们续写时要符合原文的思路，继承原作者风格。这就需要我们寻求故事的内在联系，走进作者的内心世界，通过精读准确把握原文故事情节和人物性格等。可利用金字塔和思维导图更直观地展示故事情节和主题。

Story pyramid

故事情节：首段介绍了故事发生的背景，The Meredith family生活在一个小社区。因为经济萧条，很多人失业了，都在为生计奔波。人们相互帮助度过难关。第2至第4段，介绍了Mrs. Meredith是个很善良的人，经常以多种方式帮助贫困的人们。一天她告诉她的三个孩子John， Harry和Clara小区有一个需要帮助的小男孩Bernard。第5至第8段，孩子们都想帮助Bernard。

Main theme

主题解读：从第二段可知，Mrs. Meredith是一位非常善良乐于助人的女士，从她经常帮助贫困家庭可推断出她用行动在她孩子们心中播撒下了爱心的种子。受她的积极影响，孩子们非常愿意帮助Bernard，并且后来的确想出了一个好办法，制作爆米花让Bernard出去卖。由此不难看出，文章的主题是爱心与善良的传递。

三、预测内容，构思情节

读后续写考查想象力和创新能力。有的学生可能会觉得不知道怎么入手，感觉无话可写。这时我们可根据五所思维，即“所见，所闻，所感，所想，所做”，运用问题链设置相关问题。设置问题时研读续写段落的开头语，尤其需关注第一段结尾匹配第二段首句的问题。

Para1： When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too.

设置以下问题：

Para2： With everything ready. Bernard started out on his new business.

我们可以在问题链的帮助下自问自答，用问题引导自己构思内容。在构思情节时，要充分考虑到各情节之间的逻辑关系。预测故事发展情节：

第一段要承接“妈妈也认为是个好主意”，具体到妈妈做了什么，孩子们做了什么来帮助Bernard。另外，續写第二段首句写道：“一切准备就绪，Bernard开始了他自己的新生意”。由此可知，第二段的“一切准备就绪”，准备了什么也是第一段要写的内容。我们可以设想成，准备购买家用的爆米花机，并把计划告诉了Bernard一家。买好机子后，又着手熟悉其操作。

第二段主要写一切准备好后，Bernard开始了自己的生意后具体发生的事情。联系原文首段末句“人们尽力互帮互助以应对经济衰退的挑战”，可推测出大家都竭力帮助Bernard，或多或少都会购买他的爆米花，以支持他养家。也可以想象到，Bernard卖出爆米花后的感激之情。

四、细节描写，优化表达

要想写出生动形象、内容具体的续写部分，不仅要有丰富的词汇量，还要注意细节的刻画，需适时添加心理描写、动作描写和场景描写等细节，才能让故事充满画面感。

Mrs. Meredith和孩子们的所思所做，这关系到心理和动作的细节描写。

心理描写

动作描写

这些相关的语料库词汇大家根据情况进行加工再内化为自己的文字。在优化语言前，分析原文的语言风格，使用了make ends meet， meet the challenges， sprang to his feet等高级词汇，同时运用了宾语从句、定语从句、分词结构和部分倒装等高级表达。我们在行文时，可创造性地模仿与使用这些句式表达。既可以延续原文的风格，又可以使表达更丰富多彩。

参考范文

When Mrs. Meredith heard of the idea， she thought it was a good one， too. Mrs. Meredith nodded with a smile， saying“Lets take action！”. Immediately she searched the Internet and ordered a household popcorn machine. After that， Mrs. Meredith together with her three children paid another visit to the family and told them about the popcorn plan. Needless to say， they were deeply touched， especially Bernard who finally found a solution to make money for his family. A few days later， the machine was delivered to Mrs Merediths home. And it wasnt long before they got the hang of using the machine to make popcorn.

With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. Although it was a hard time and things were tight for everybody， Bernards business worked out quite well. He carried the popcorn on his small bike， going from door to door to sell it. People were surprised to see such a little，poorly-dressed boy selling popcorn at their doors， but eventually almost all of them would buy a bag or two to support him. It is love that makes the world go round and Bernard felt it deep in his little heart.

范文点评：该文续写部分和原文以及首句的融合度高。第一段续写Mrs. Meredith立即付诸行动顺应首句她认为是个好主意的想法。从网购家用爆米花机再到快递到货后，他们没过多久就熟悉其使用，这种种准备工作与第二段首句无缝衔接。

该文达到了语法和词汇的准确性和丰富性。使用了大量高级词汇，如 paid another visit to， needless to say， got the hang of， tight， worked out等。定语从句，强调句型，非谓语动词的熟练使用显示出作者语言使用的灵活性和扎实的基本功。在连贯性方面，作者使用了immediately， after， a few days later， although， but等词将上下文的逻辑体现了出来。范文围绕文章的内容进行了合理的拓展，传播了正能量，宣扬了爱与善良，使文章的主题得到了升华。

责任编辑 蒋小青