Fishy Fish Confabulations

By Deng Zhanyong

Old Mr. Zhang went to the local bazaar to buy fish. He walked up to a stall displaying row upon row of fish that looked and smelled quite less than fresh. He picked one up,put it to his nose and took a good whiff. Sure enough it smelled more than a bit fishy. It had apparently spent a little too much time out of water. Looking rather put out, the stall owner grumbled,“Ahem, what’re you doing that for, Sir? These fish are fresh from the river.”

Mr. Zhang didn’t try to debate with the stall owner, nor did he try to call him out for lying.He simply replied, “I was just conversating with that fish.”

The stall owner dismissed the idea as hare-brained, but still couldn’t help being a little tickled at the idea of confabulating with aquatic animals. Just the same,he wanted to give old Mr. Zhang a good ribbing, so he asked coyly,“Then, what were you two talking about just now?”

Mr. Zhang didn’t skip a beat.“Nothing much,” he replied. “I just asked it if the river water was cold.”

“So, what did it tell you about that river water?” The stall owner’s wry grin of glee and contained cackles gave way to squealing snorts of shrill sniggers,attracting a crowd that had gathered to see what in the world all the fuss was about.

“The fish was very apologetic and said it couldn’t remember,considering the fact that it has been out of the water for like two weeks,” Mr. Zhang quipped in a dry deadpan.

The crowd exploded in laughter. Outmatched, the stall owner slumped down on his ramshackle wooden stool,fanning himself, tomatofaced with rage.

老张到菜市场买鱼。他走到一家鲜鱼摊前，看到摆的鱼种类不少，但都不很新鲜。老张提起一条放在鼻子前闻了一下，果然味道不对。看来鱼出水的时间不短了。摊主看到他这么一闻，非常不高兴，问道：“哎，你这是干什么？我的鱼是刚刚打上来的。”

老张并没有和摊主争辩，也没有指责他说谎，而是顺口说了句：“我刚刚是和这条鱼说话呢。”

摊主觉得老张这话挺有意思，不禁来了兴致，想刁难老张一番，于是问：“那你和鱼说些什么话呢？”

老张说：“也没什么，我想到河里游泳，向那条鱼打听一下现在的水究竟凉不凉。”

“那鱼怎么说呢？”摊主笑得上气不接下气，吸引了一些围观的人。

“鱼对我说，很抱歉，我没法告诉你，因为我离开河已经十多天了。”老张淡淡地说。

围观的人哄然大笑，摊主却一脸愤然。