幽默小故事

周硕

Old Age

老年

An old man went to the doctor. He had problems with a terrible pain in his leg.

“I am afraid that its just old age，” said the doctor. “I cant do anything about it.”

“That cant be true！” said the old man， “You just dont know what it is.”

“How can you know that I am wrong？” asked the doctor.

“Well， its easy，” the old man said. “My other leg is fine， and its the exactly1 same age！”

一位老人去看醫生，他的腿痛得很厉害。

医生说：“恐怕只是年纪大了的原因。我对此无能为力。”

“这不可能！”老人说，“你就是不知道是什么问题。”

“你怎么知道我错了？”问医生。

老人说：“这很容易，我的另一条腿是好的，两条腿的年龄是完全一样的！”

How to Stop Smoking

如何戒烟

Dave and Kevin are at a New Years Eve party， and Dave asks Kevin for a cigarette2.

“Didnt you quit3？！”

“I am in the process4 of quitting. Right now， I am in the middle of phase5 one.”

“Phase one？”

“Yeah，” laughs Dave， “I just stopped buying them.”

戴夫和凯文参加除夕晚会，他问凯文要一根香烟吸。

“你不是戒烟了吗？！”

“我正在戒。现在，我正处于第一阶段。”

“第一阶段？”

“是的，”戴夫笑着说，“我才刚刚停止购买。”

Little Johnny and the Teacher

小约翰尼和老师

“Johnny， give me a sentence that starts with I.”

“I is...”

“No， Little Johnny. Always say I am.”

“All right，...I am the ninth letter of the alphabet6.”

“约翰尼，用‘I开头造一个句子。”

“‘I是……”

“不，小约翰尼，‘I要搭配‘am。”

“好吧……‘我（I）是字母表的第九个字母。”

Singing

唱歌

Xiao Ming likes to sing. Every time he begins to sing， his mother goes outside.

Xiao Ming is unhappy about this.

“Dont you like my singing？” he asks his mother.

“Of course I do，” she says. “I just want to make sure that the neighbours know that Im not beating7 you.”

小明喜欢唱歌。每当他开始唱歌时，他妈妈就会走出家门。

小明有点不高兴。

“你不喜欢我的歌声吗？”他问母亲。

“当然喜欢。”她说，“我只想让邻居知道我刚刚没打你。”

The Longest and the Shortest

最长的和最短的是什么？

A teacher asks one of his students， “What is the longest and what is the shortest？”

The student answers， “The last several minutes of a class is the longest， while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.”

一位老师问他的一个学生：“最长的是什么，最短的又是什么？”

该学生回答：“一节课的最后几分钟是最长的，而考试的最后几分钟是最短的。”

（英语原文选自：jokesinlevels.com & wenda.tianya.cn）