YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS?SHE’SGOTANSWERS (BUT YOUPRO BABLYWON’TLIKE THEM)

My wife and I have been separated for two years, but a new law will require us to go through a 冷静期 (lěngjìngqī,cool-off period) before we can divorce. What should I do?

George Li

How dare you! You 渣男 (zhā’nán, scumbag)! Haven’t you heard? 宁拆一座庙, 不毁一桩婚 (Nìng chāi yí zuò miào,bù huǐ yì zhuāng hūn. It’s better to destroy a temple than to break up a marriage). Those 好心 (hǎoxīn, kindhearted)people at the 民政局 (mínzhèngjú, civil affairs bureau)clearly don’t want to 棒打鸳鸯 (bàng dǎ yuānyāng, “drive apart a pair of Mandarin ducks with a stick,” separate a couple). No outsider will support you on this matter, since they always say, 劝和不劝离 (quàn hé bú quàn lí, better to stay together than to split). I stuck with my drunken gambling husband, didn’t I? I’d have left him long ago, but the 居委会 (jūwěihuì, residential committee) people kept asking me to consider my children…oh, wait…I see what you mean. How long is this cool-off period, you say? I think I have some papers to file.

Is it safe to eat salmon now that Covid-19 has been found in a Beijing seafood market? I really miss sashimi.

Hungry Huang

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

What a stupid fad, to eat raw fish in the first place! Are you a 原始人 (yuánshǐrén, caveman)? Why the habit of 茹毛饮血 (rúmáo-yǐnxuè, eating raw flesh and drinking blood)?Whoever invented sashimi, and salad for that matter,must be a 懒惰的 (lǎnduò de, lazy) cook: toss a bunch of ingredients on a plate and say it’s done. In China, a very 文明的 (wénmíng de, civilized) country, we always cook our food, and drink 开水 (kāishuǐ, boiled water), since it’s good for our health. Listen to the ancient 智慧 (zhìhuì, wisdom) of our ancestors. If you must have salmon, cook the damn fish before putting it in your mouth.

Top: Dragon-boat rowers wait for the signal to start at a race in Anhua county, Hunan province

Right: The “chanter”at the head of the boat waves a flag and shouts slogans to make sure the team rows at the same pace