中式婚礼上，为什么要敬茶

周衍平

如今，江浙一些地方举行婚礼仍有敬“三道茶”的习俗：第一道敬神灵，感谢神灵庇佑;第二道茶敬父母，感谢养育之恩;第三道茶夫妻互敬，表示恩恩爱爱、白头偕老。

中国是茶的故乡，在许多重要场合，中国人习惯以茶为媒介，传情达意。比如在中国传统婚礼上，“以茶为礼”始终贯穿在各个环节，体现着茶与婚礼习俗间的人文之美。

茶礼

据《藏史》记载：唐太宗贞观十五年（公元641年），藏王松赞干布到大唐请婚，唐太宗遂将宗室养女文成公主下嫁于他。文成公主入藏时，带去了陶器、纸、酒还有茶等物品作为嫁妆。显然，在唐代，已经把茶叶视为了嫁妆之一。

唐宋时期，饮茶之风盛行，茶叶不仅是女子出嫁时的陪嫁品，而且还逐渐演变成一种特殊的婚俗礼仪——茶礼。宋人吴自牧《梦粱录》卷二十《嫁娶》记述了当时杭州的婚嫁风俗：“若丰富之家，以珠翠、首饰、金器、销金裙禙，及缎匹、茶饼，加以双羊牵送。”可见当时，茶与金银珠宝、绫罗绸缎一起，成为聘礼中的重要之物。从此，民间即称送聘礼为“下茶”“行茶礼”或“茶礼”;女子受聘，谓之“吃茶”或“受茶”。在一些地方的婚俗中，若男女相见后中意，男方就送来聘礼，女方接受了，这门婚事也宣告定了，这女子就是“吃过茶”的人。

清代郑燮（郑板桥）《竹枝词》：“湓江江口是奴家，郎若闲时来吃茶。黄土筑墙茅屋盖，门前一树紫荆花。”吃茶表示求婚。旧时汉族不少地方，未婚少女是不能随便到别人家去喝茶的，因为一喝就意味着同意做这家的媳妇了，故有“好女不吃两家茶”的说法。

“茶礼”作为男女确立婚姻的重要形式，在一地方一直沿用至今。

茶俗

“三茶六礼”是中国古代传统婚姻嫁娶过程中的一种习俗礼仪，旧时多流行于江南汉族地区。

“三茶”一般是指订婚时的“下茶”、结婚时的“定茶”和洞房时的“合茶”;也有特指婚礼时的三道茶仪式——即第一道百果，第二道莲子、枣子，第三道才是茶。

“六礼”指由求婚至完婚的整个结婚过程，即婚姻据以成立的纳采、问名、纳吉、纳征、请期、亲迎等六种仪式。在古代，男女若非完成“三茶六礼”的过程，婚姻便不被承认为明媒正娶。几年前，笔者在家乡浙江省宁海县西南山区进行婚俗文化和茶文化调查时，发现了一本清代民间文书范文手抄本，其中《男家行聘帖式·礼目》中就记录了“喜茶喜果”等聘礼清单。

如今，江浙一些地方举行婚礼仍有敬“三道茶”的习俗：第一道茶敬神灵，感谢神灵庇佑;第二道茶敬父母，感谢养育之恩;第三道茶夫妻互敬，表示恩恩爱爱、白头偕老。敬完三道茶后，夫妻双双进入洞房。

在浙江嘉兴、湖州一带，由媒人将男方茶叶等聘礼送往女方，女方受礼，称为“受茶”，则不可再允配他人，同时女方托媒人将茶、米等礼带回男方家，公布婚约。

在金华，男方请媒人“出媒”，倘女方应允，则泡茶、煮蛋以待，称之“食茶”或“凑双”;到结婚那天，送新郎新娘入洞房，宾客散去，会送上蛋煮糖茶，俗称“子茶”，新郎新娘吃完就寝，寓生子之意。

在温州，新人入洞房时，喜婆会向新娘献茶，新娘茶毕才进入闹洞房程序。

过去，在宁波镇海一带还流行“送茶”的婚礼茶俗，即结婚次日，男方送食物于女家，女家也要回送，有钱人家送参汤或燕窝汤，一般人家回送茶。

在浙江宁海一带，结婚第二天，要举行隆重的“吃茶”仪式——前来参加婚礼仪式的长辈端坐在厅堂，新娘在伴娘和姑嫂等人的陪同下，依次向长辈们敬茶以示孝敬，也借此和各位长辈见面认识。长辈们在接过新娘递上的茶后，回赠红包。

“吃茶”礼仪是婚礼中的重要环节，新娘要同时向多至数十位长辈敬茶，一般的茶壶无法满足敬茶所需，因此，嫁妆中就有了相应的朱红木制大茶壶。这个茶壶个头巨大，一次冲泡就可满足敬茶所需的茶水。相应数量的茶盘、茶杯和盛茶点的木盘等，也是“吃茶”典礼中的必备，是女儿出嫁必不可少的嫁妆。

在苏州一带，婚礼中还要表演“跳板茶”。新女婿和其舅爷进门后，稍坐片刻，女家即撤掉台凳，留下空间，在左右两边靠墙处各放两把太师椅，椅背衬好红色椅帔，新女婿和舅爷坐头二座，另两位至亲坐三四座。然后由“茶担”（即烧水泡茶敬茶的人）托着茶盘，表演“跳板茶”，向四位宾客献茶。表演者身段柔软，脚步稳健，节奏轻松，手托茶盘茶水不会溅出。托着木板茶盘跳舞献茶，故称跳板茶。每逢举行“跳板茶”，亲朋邻居都会来观赏，精彩处满堂喝彩，增添了婚事欢乐气氛。

茶器

过去，无论是平民百姓还是皇家贵族，婚嫁时都要送茶叶、茶具。相传光绪皇帝大婚的礼品中，就有很多精美的茶具，如金海棠花福壽大茶盘、金如意茶盘、金福寿盖碗、黄地福寿瓷茶盅和黄地福寿瓷盖碗等。

旧时江南地区嫁女讲究排场，人们常用“十里红妆，良田千亩”来形容嫁妆的丰厚。所谓“十里红妆”，是旧时嫁女的场面。红色在中国代表着喜庆、吉祥，是民间婚嫁中约定俗成的色彩。尤其在浙东宁波绍兴地区，明清时期大户人家女儿出嫁，嫁妆用朱砂涂漆，黄金装饰，朱金木雕、泥金彩漆，工艺精湛，流光溢彩。结婚那日，橱、箱、桌、椅、凳、桶、盆、盒、盘等生活所需的家具、用具从女方家抬到男方家，组成一支浩浩荡荡的抬嫁妆队伍。

江南茶礼之风盛行，红妆家具中自然少不了茶器的身影。这些红妆茶器，从大件的茶桌、茶几以及与之配套的椅子、凳子，到小件的茶盘、茶杯等，一应俱全。

由于各地婚礼习俗和生活习惯的不同，红妆茶器的形制也不尽相同。过去一些大户人家，喝茶非常讲究，嫁妆中自然也少不了日常喝茶所需的各种用具，如茶箱、茶桌、茶几、茶壶桶、茶叶罐、茶碗桶、泡茶桶、茶盘等，品类繁多，从厅堂、书房到卧室，无不存列。茶箱、礼担是装茶叶和礼品的的器具，过去提亲、结婚等环节都少不了它。茶壶桶、茶壶套是比较常见的茶器，内衬棉花、鹅毛等物，用来保温茶水，每当丈夫外出归来，妻子就会拿出在茶壶桶里准备好的茶水递上，解渴暖身，传达浓浓情意;茶碗桶是宁波绍兴地区家庭必备的泡茶用具，形状为一个带盖的大圆桶，盖上有四个镂空的吉祥图案，每当家里来客，女主人会拿出茶碗桶来洗茶、泡茶，招待客人，其功能类似于现在的茶海;茶道桶也是旧时喝茶、洗茶的用具，分上下两格，上格放茶杯，下格倒茶叶渣和废茶水，既可招待客人，也适合独品怡情。

舊时有“一两黄金三两朱”之说，朱金家具是中国民间家具中的精品。“十里红妆”寄托了父母对女儿难以割舍的爱，丰富的红妆家具，足以满足女儿今后在夫家的生活所需，其中的红妆茶具更是父母表达爱意的细节体现。

茶树四季常青，茶叶清心怡情，是永久和纯洁的象征。明藏书家郎瑛在《七修类稿》中认为：“种茶下子，不可移植，移植则不复生也。故女子受聘，谓之吃茶，又聘以茶为礼者，见其从一之义”。这种认识也体现了人们对婚姻忠诚的愿望。

Tea plays a crucial part in important ceremonies across China. The tradition has been around since ancient times. Specifically， tea is a ceremonious part of weddings， featuring the cultural beauty of tea.

Tea as Gift for Proposal and Engagement

In history， tea was part of the dowry Princess Wencheng of the Tang Dynasty （618-907） brought to Tibet when she was to marry Songts?n Gampo， the king of Tibet. Also among her dowry were pottery， paper， and wine. Apparently， tea was a wedding gift in the Tang Dynasty.

In the centuries of the Tang and the following Song （960-1279）， tea became a key part of gifts for engagement. Among gifts from rich families were gold and silver， jewelry and silk and tea cakes. In many cases， engagement gifts were simply called “gift of tea”. In many folk customs， when a young man wanted to propose marriage to a woman， he would send over gifts including tea. The sending of the gifts was generally labeled “the sending of tea”. If the woman agreed to the proposal， it was known as “tea has been sipped or accepted”. In some regions， an unmarried woman never drank tea outside her own home unless she had already agreed to be a daughter-in-law of another family.

Tea in Wedding Ceremony

In Jiangnan （the southern part of Yangtze River Delta） in good old years， tea was part of a wedding ceremony. When a marriage was proposed， tea must be among the gift. Tea was served and sipped during a wedding ceremony. When the newlyweds went to the bridal chamber， tea must be also served. Even today in some places in Zhejiang and Jiangsu， tea must be served three times during a wedding ceremony： the first cup of tea is served in honor of gods for their blessings. The second cup is served to honor their parents for everything they have done for them. The newlyweds honor each other with the third cup of tea. In Ninghai in eastern Zhejiang， a tea party is held ceremoniously so that the newlyweds can meet all elderly relatives. The bride serves tea to several dozens of elderly relatives one by one whereas elders give cash envelopes as gift. In order to make adequate amount of tea at one time so that all the tea cups can be filled， a colossal teakettle is a must. In fact， such a large tea set is a necessary part of the dowry. An adequate number of tea cups must be prepared. In Suzhou， a tea dance is held at the wedding ceremony. A dancer serves tea to all the VIPs at the ceremony. Such a skillful and ceremonious dance always attracts relatives and friends and neighbors to watch.

Tea Sets

In the long-past centuries， wedding gifts sometimes would include a complete tea set and tea. History has it that there were sophisticatedly made and decorated tea utensils among the wedding gifts when Emperor Guangxu of the Qing Dynasty got married.

In Shaoxing and Ningbo in eastern Zhejiang during the Ming （1368-1644） and the Qing （1644-1911）， a bridals dowry would include a complete series of tea utensils if the bridals family was rich. A tea set could vary from place to place. If a tea set was from a rich family， it might contain a variety of artifacts such as a tea table， a tea cabinet， a tea kettle， a tea canister， a tea plate， cups， and a big thermos flask made of wood that keeps tea drink warm.