The Art of Bargaining

By Qiu Chen

When you come across a commodity that you like and find it priced a bit beyond your budget, how would you bargain with the shopkeeper?

The most common expression would be, “If you don’t give me a better price, forget it, I am leaving.” Or: “Sir/mam, please, give me a better price.”

However, a better way of saying it could be, “I really like it, and I would love to buy it here, but are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?”

When faced with confrontation, a person is likely to have a negative response. Even in a tough negotiation, it is unwise to let your rival feel cornered. Stuart Diamond, a negotiation expert from America, once mentioned in his research that under the same conditions, the rate of success is only half as much if you take a threatening strategy.

Equally, it is not the best strategy to hand over the right of choice to the other party, especially in circumstances where you need to exert certain pressure on the other.

甜咸比

文/邱晨

看到喜欢却超过预算的东西，该怎么跟商家杀价呢？

常见的说法：“你不卖便宜点，那就算了，我走了。”或是：“老板，你行行好，便宜点卖给我嘛。”

更好的说法：“我确实很喜欢这件，也很想在你家买，但你总不能卖得比别的店贵呀？”

在被迫选择的情势下，任何人都会产生负面应激反应。即使在“谈判”这种剑拔弩张的场景里，让对方觉得受到逼迫也是不明智的行为。美国谈判大师戴蒙德研究发现：在相同的条件下，如果你威胁对方的话，协议达成的成功率只有不威胁的一半而已。

不过，把选择权完全交给对方也不一定总是合适的。特别是在需要给对方施加压力的场景里，更是要让对方意识到不能为所欲为。

比如说，很多人以为杀价就是靠威胁或是撒娇，其实这些方法不是太硬就是太软，前者不给选择权，后者给了太多的选择权，都没有戳中店主的痛点。

“你不卖便宜点，那我就走了。”这种威胁虽然偶尔会奏效，但更多时候，店主才懒得理你。也有人杀价是拼命撒娇：“老板，你行行好，便宜点吧。”店主心情好的时候也许会考虑，不过通常也是无动于衷。

Many people think that bargaining is all about making threats or putting out a coquetry appearance, while in fact, these manners are usually too harsh or too soft. The former does not offer your rival much right to choose, while the latter gives too much—neither of which hit home.

“If you don’t have a better price for me, I’m leaving.” Threatening words might work occasionally, but more often than not, the shopkeeper will probably just ignore you. Some people try playing sweetheart: “Mam, please be nice, give me a good price.” The shopkeeper might consider when they are in a good mood, but more likely they’ll just be unmoved.

The reason why these methods fail is that your words don’t mix the sweetness with saltiness. “The ratio of sweetness to saltiness” is a term often used in food industry, where the proportion of sweetness and saltiness in a product needs to be proper in order to produce the best taste. It’s the same with speech, which should blend softness with firmness.

“If you can’t offer me a better price, I am leaving” sounds a bit aggressive—too salty for people to swallow. On the other hand, “Sir, please give me a better price” is too soft and sweet—why should the shopkeeper sell it to you?

So how can you bargain with the right ratio of sweetness to saltiness in your expression? Diamond has a trick for negotiation, which was mentioned earlier: “I really like it, and I would love to buy it here, but are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?” This approach involves three levels of implications: (1) clearly express your fondness; (2) imply the negative factors; (3) exert pressure in a manner of asking for help.

This tact is both sweet and salty, with the right ratio. Sweet in that you tell the shopkeeper that you like it and would love to buy it, salty in that you pressure him in a subtle way to give you a competitive price.

At the end of your bargaining, by asking “are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?” you are politely kicking the ball back to the shopkeeper. It sounds like asking for help, while in fact it is sign of pressure. The shopkeeper will feel like they’re helping you out instead of being compelled to make a business decision.

To sum up, the right ratio of sweetness to saltiness in your words means complete and clear expression of your intention while giving the other space as well. Next time when you bargain, try to employ this trick to make it. You don’t have to recite every word, just grasp the gist of it… Feel free to paraphrase and express it to make it your own in a smart way.

In addition, the sweetness in the ratio doesn’t refer to sweet words only, it’s about speaking out your wishes, your favor, and your feelings, rather than having to specify the advantages of the product.

This principle is applicable to any situation where you need to contend yet not offend. For example, when you want to advise your partner, you might feel that soft words are fruitless and harsh words will hurt. At this moment you can employ the speech technique of mixing sweetness with saltiness.

A good ratio of sweetness to saltiness offers another extra bonus, namely, gentleness. Hand the choosing right to the other party. When we end our sentence with “What do you think?”or “What do you think I should do?” very few people will rudely or immediately reject us. (From Speaking in the Right Way II, Beijing United Publishing Company. Translation: Lu Qiongyao)

这些方法之所以会失败，其实是因为说话中的“甜咸比”不对。甜咸比是食品业的一个术语，也就是甜味跟咸味的搭配比例要恰到好处，不然就不好吃。说话的时候也要讲究甜咸比，要软硬适当、柔中带刚。

“你不卖便宜点，我走了。”这攻击性太强，太咸了，人家吃不下去。反过来说：“老板，求你便宜点卖给我嘛。”这又太软、太甜了，人家为什么一定要答应你？

甜咸比适当的杀价具体应该怎么说？戴蒙德在谈判的时候有个秘诀，就是前面提到的这句话：“我确实很喜欢这件，也很想在你家买，但你总不能卖得比别的店贵呀？”

这句话有三个意思：（1）明确表示赞美；（2）暗示负面因素；（3）以求助的方式施加压力。

所以说，像“我确实很喜欢这件，也很想在你家买，但你总不能卖得比别的店贵呀？”的说法就是有甜有咸，甜咸比例均衡。一方面有点甜，告诉商家“我很想在你家买”，表达了你的善意跟喜爱；一方面又有点咸，也就是“但你总不能卖得比别的店贵呀”。

特别是最后，你又客客气气地把球踢给对方：“但你总不能卖得比别的店贵呀？”看起来像是求助，其实是在施加压力。而对方此时如果让步，会显得像是做个顺水人情，而不是受到胁迫之后的被逼无奈。

总之，该讲的话都讲到位，也给了对方台阶下，这就是恰如其分的甜咸比的好处。下次杀价时，别忘了使用这个甜咸比的诀窍，提高成功率。当然，你也不用一字不漏全背下来，只要掌握这段话的精髓，即：“你有机会……但可惜……”你也可以用自己的方式来表达这个意思，活学活用。

另外，甜咸比里的“甜”不是只要嘴巴甜，必须强调的是你的意愿、你的喜爱、你的心情，而不是真的具体到去称赞产品有某种优点。

在任何需要“斗而不破”的场合，都可以使用这个原则。比如，伴侣之间想提意见的时候，往往会觉得说轻了没用，说重了又伤感情。这时候你就可以使用甜咸比的说话技巧。

甜咸比适当的话语还有一个额外的好处：温和。把选择权交还给对方。当我们用“你觉得呢”“你说我该怎么办呢”结尾的时候，极少有人会无礼地直接回绝你。

（摘自《好好说话2》北京联合出版公司）