Can I Have Your Business Card?

By Zhu Daoneng

On Tomb Sweeping Day, Liang decided to go to sweep his mother's tomb. So he found a store selling sacrificial offerings. When he arrived, the owner cordially took out a paper box and said, “Why not give your loved one an iPhone?”

Liang, amused, replied, “Sir, my mom is an old lady, she doesn't know how to use iPhone.”

The owner, replied without hesitation, “Steve Jobs planned for this a long time ago. That's why he has already gone down there himself to teach people how to use his phones.”

Liang forced a smile and reluctantly took out his wallet. As he was ready to leave, the shopkeeper spoke, with an air of remembering something, “Hold on a second, you haven't bought a charger for the phone.”

Liang lost his patience, “Give it a rest! A phone charger? I don't want it!”

The boss didn't get upset, but said in a soft voice, “If you don't want it, it's ok. But aren't you afraid that your mom will come looking for you in the middle of the night when the battery runs out?”

Hearing such frightening words like that on Tomb Sweeping Day, the hairs stood straight up on the nape of Liang's neck. Seeing Liang dumbfounded, the owner of the shop immediately took the charger and shoved it into his bag.

Liang's brows started to knit,

as he was forced again to fish out

his wallet. At the same time the shopkeeper took out another large pile of stuff. The things were all made out of papier-mâché; he had SIM cards, phone cases and the like…

As he was handing over the money, Liang couldn't help himself teasing him, “I guess she won't come looking for me now.”

The boss was counting the money with a grin on his face, “Not for the moment. But you know Apple comes out with new products all the time.”

Liang cut him off immediately, “Sir, can I have your business card?”

The owner was stumped for a moment, pausing a second before saying, “Yes, sure. If you need anything, you can give me a call.”

Liang took the name card and casually put it in his bag stuffed

with the things for sacrificing.

The storekeeper was confused and asked, “What are you getting at?”

Liang smirked and said, “I'll burn your card along with the other offerings and give them to my mom. If she needs anything in the future she can just call you directly.”

(From Jokes, Feburary 2014. Translation: Sam Bowden)

你有名片吗

文/朱道能

清明节那天，阿亮去给母亲扫墓。他来到祭品店，老板热情地拿出一个纸盒说：“给亲人送个苹果手机吧。”阿亮逗趣道：“老板，我妈是个老太太，这手机她不会用啊。”

老板不假思索地说：“乔布斯早就想到了这一点，他这不已经亲自下去教了嘛！”

阿亮苦笑了一下，只好付钱。他刚准备走，老板又突然想起什么，说：“慢着，你还没买手机充电器呢。”

阿亮不耐烦了，说：“有完没完啊，还充电器？不要！”

老板也不恼，慢声细语地说：“不要可以呀，不过等手机的电用完了，就不怕老太太半夜去找你？”

清明节听见这话，阿亮不禁汗毛直竖。见阿亮愣着没再吱声，老板立即把充电器塞进他的袋子里。

阿亮皱了皱眉，只好又掏出钱包。这时，老板又拿出了一大堆东西，都是纸糊的，有充值卡、保护套……

把钱递过去时，阿亮还是忍不住揶揄了一句：“这下老太太不会找我了吧？”

老板笑嘻嘻地数着钱，说：“暂时不会。不过你知道的，乔布斯的产品更新换代快。”

阿亮打断他的话，问：“老板，你有名片吗？”

老板一时没反应过来，顿了一下，才说：“有！以后再需要什么，就打电话联系我。”

阿亮接过名片，随手就放进塞满祭祀品的袋子里。

老板愣了一下，问：“你这是什么意思？”

阿亮微微一笑，说：“我把你的名片一起烧给我妈，以后她再需要什么，就直接打电话联系你……”

（摘自《笑林》2014年第2期）