幽默小故事

张恒

Farmers Patch1

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well， but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought， he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day， the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read， “Warning！ One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide2.” The kids ran off， made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmers sign. When the farmer returned， he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing， but the sign next to his read， “Now there are two！”

农民的土地

从前有一个农民种了很多西瓜。他的西瓜种得不错，但是当地几个孩子总来捣乱，他们晚上溜到他的西瓜地里偷吃西瓜。经过深思熟虑之后，他想出了一个好主意，觉得肯定能吓走这些孩子。他做了一个标牌放在西瓜地里。第二天，那些孩子出现了，他们看到标牌上写着：“警告！这块地里有一个西瓜已经被注射了氰化物（剧毒）！”孩子们跑开后也做了一个标牌放到了农民的那块标牌旁边。农民回来后去查看自家的西瓜地，发现一个西瓜都没丢，但是他的标牌旁边有个标牌上面写着：“现在有两个了！”

Two Potatos

One day two potatos， who were best friends， were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb3 and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured potato called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured potato was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and painful wait， the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured potato， “I have good news， and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through. The bad news is that hes going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

两只土豆

一天，两只土豆，一对挚友，沿着街道一起走着。他们走下马路沿儿的时候，一辆快速行驶的轿车从街角拐过来，撞飞了他们中的一个。没受伤的土豆赶紧拨打911，尽全力帮助他受伤的朋友。受伤的土豆被送往医院急救，并马上接受了手术治疗。在一段漫长而痛苦的等待之后，医生终于出现了。他告诉没受伤的土豆：“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。好消息是你的朋友會度过难关。坏消息是他下半辈子都会是一个植物人了！”endprint