在逆境中如何与人交朋友并建立牢固的关系

It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city， especially when you dont know many people.

生活在一个大城市里是很难交到朋友的，尤其是当你还不认识很多人的时候。

Over years of experience and studying social skills， I found that its possible to make friends without even trying. There are just a few strategies1 that you have to use on a consistent2 basis.

根据多年的经验以及对社交技能的研究，我发现其实你甚至能毫不费力地交到朋友。这儿列出几种策略，你要持之以恒地运用。

Here are some simple steps Ill outline：

在这里我将列出几个简单的步骤：

1. Be seen without trying to get attention.

不刻意地引人注意也能获得他人的关注。

You dont have to say anything funny or interesting to get peoples attention， all you have to do is to place yourself in environments where people will see you.

你不必说诙谐或有趣的话来吸引人们的注意，你所要做的只是将你自己置于人们能注意到的地方。

This can be done anywhere you go， such as the supermarket or gym.

这可以在你去的任何地方奏效，比如超市或是健身房。

2. Use the power3 of listening.

使用倾听的力量。

Theres an interesting phenomenon4 that happens when you listen to other people. Theyll keep talking. Just keep giving them good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.

有一个有趣的现象，当你倾听别人说话时，他们会一直侃侃而谈。你所需要做的就是和他们保持良好的眼神接触，并用你的身体语言显示出你在认真倾听。

3. Think about what you can give to the other people.

想想你能给别人什么。

So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends， but that thinking needs to be flipped5 around.

当我们试图交朋友的时候，我们經常会考虑我们能从别人那里得到什么，但是我们需要扭转这种想法。

Try offering a piece of helpful advice or invite someone you just met to have a cup of coffee or lunch with you the following week.

试着给人提供一个有用的建议或邀请你刚刚认识的人在接下来的一周里一起喝杯咖啡或者共进午餐。

4. Always have 3 good stories to tell other people.

总是有3个好故事与他人分享。

When you have at least a few stories to share with others， youll never run out of things to talk about.

当你至少有几个故事与他人分享时，你将永远有谈不尽的话题。

5. Smile like theres no tomorrow.

尽情微笑。

It may not be natural for some of us to smile， but a smile is one of the most attractive things that someone can show when theyre meeting new people.

对有些人来说，微笑可能是件不自然的事情，但是当结识新朋友时，微笑是展示给别人的最有吸引力的一面。

Think about these 5 strategies as tools. Theyre always useful if you want to connect with people for a long time and develop true lasting friendships.

我们可以把这5种策略作为工具。如果你想与人保持长久联系，并且发展成真正长久的友谊，它们总是大有用处的。