My Happy Family

My Happy Family

I live in a warm family.There are four people in my family:my grandmother,my parents and I.

My grandmother is 65 years old.She is in good healthy①.She does morning exercises in the park and buys fresh vegetables in the market every morning.

My father is a②engineer.He works very hard and always travel on business.But he often takes us to some interesting places to travel when he is free.We often enjoy ourselves.

My mother is a teacher in a university.She is very kind but strict with me.She is such③busy with her work that she always gets home late.After she comes back,I often share funny things in school with her to make her relaxing④.

I am a middle school student and I love reading.For me,study is a happy but challenging job.

East or west,home is best.I love my happy family.

江苏省赣榆县罗阳中学七（5）班张恒

【栏目要求】

1.将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2.在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;

3.根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4.给学生习作点评〈优点与不足〉;

5.请点评名师提供简历一份，包括：学校、职务、职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。

投稿邮箱：zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com

来稿请寄：430079华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》杂志社 收

本期点评名师

陈传光男，中学一级教师、江苏省教育学会会员、连云港市优秀教育园丁、赣榆县优秀班主任；任教于江苏省赣榆县罗阳中学，从事教育教学工作已逾12年；有多篇论文在各杂志期刊上发表并获奖；曾获全国中学生新课程英语语言能力竞赛优秀辅导教师一等奖。

1.优点：

在本文中，张恒同学向我们一一介绍了奶奶、爸爸、妈妈和自己的职业及生活习惯。小作者最后通过一句谚语收尾，升华了主题。透过小作者的文字，我们也仿佛感受到了这个家庭的温暖。文章语言流畅、结构清晰，是一篇优秀的学生习作。

2.需要修改的地方：

①healthy改为health。health是名词，意为“健康”，形容词good修饰名词health。

②a改为an。engineer首字母发元音/e/。

③such改为so。通常情况下such后接名词，so后接形容词或副词。

④relaxing改为relaxed。relaxing形容物，意为“使人放松的”，relaxed形容人，意为“放松的”。

3.评分：

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准，本文修改前可得17分。