Li Ying is my classmate and she is also my good friend. She is fifteen years old this year, but she looks a little younger for her age. Though she isnt very tall, and her eyes, nose and mouth are very small, but① I think she looks very beautiful.
Li Ying studies very hard. She often asks and answers questions in class. She likes every subject, so she does well at② all her lessons, especially English and math. She often helps others on③ their lessons. I think thats why everyone likes her.
She is a very outgoing girl. She is always smiling and often makes us laughing④, so we all like to play with her. She is confident. She believes she can do everything well.
Now Li Ying has gone to another school. All of us feel very sad, but we wish her the best. We all believe that her dream will come true.
安徽省濉溪县百善中心学校七(3)班 赵琪
1. 优点:
小作者向我们展示一个乐观、爱学习、爱帮助人的好女孩李莹,形象生动,惹人喜爱。是一篇成功的写人的记叙文。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① 删去but。英语中,表示“虽然……但是……”时,用了though,就不能再用but。
② does well at应改为does well in。表示“在……方面做得好”,应用do well in。
③ on应改为with。help sb. with sth.是习惯搭配,意为“帮助某人做某事”。
④ laughing应改为laugh。make 作“使;让”解时,后面应接不带to的动词不定式作宾语补足语。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准,本文修改前可得22分。