雅思写作题材解析及习作修改（十）——政府类

文/唐老雅

一、雅思“政府类”题材考情分析

雅思写作考试中，“政府类”话题每年出现3－5次，内容涉及非常广泛，往往与其他话题结合起来考。常见考点如下：

1. 政府投资。包括：

（1）政府资金拨款应该首先考虑医疗还是其他方面？

（2）为解决交通阻塞问题，政府是否应该提供免费公交？

（3）政府资金是否应该用于更重要的事情而不是艺术？

（4）政府的资金支持是否应该仅仅提供给科学研究？

（5）政府支付大学学费是否利大于弊？

（6）政府应该在每个乡镇建设公共图书馆吗？

（7）应该政府提供资金赡养老人，还是老年人自己承担？

2. 政府的行政措施。包括：

（1）政府鼓励在乡村发展商业的优缺点。

（2）为使城镇更有吸引力，政府应该在城镇增设雕塑和艺术作品吗？

（3）政府实行义务教育的优缺点。

3. 国与国之间。包括：

（1）政府应该倡导国与国之间的商业文化交流吗？

（2）给贫穷国家提供救援的利弊何在？

（3）发展中国家应该引进外国企业还是拒绝外国企业以保护国内企业？

4. 政府与人们生活。包括：

（1）对健康饮食负责的应该是政府还是个人？

（2）年轻人是否适合在政府中担任重要职位？

（3）为提高人民生活水平，发展中国家政府应该引进科技还是发展免费教育？

二、雅思“政府类”题材经典考题

1. Some people think it is more important to plant trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2016/08/27)

2. Some people think charity organisations should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.(2016/08/20)

3. Some people think health care should be made free for all people, while others believe people should pay for health care by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (2016/03/19)

4. In some countries, the government has tried to reduce traf fic by imposing a congestion tax during rush hour. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? (2016/01/30)

5. Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe that taxpayers’ money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (2015/07/23)

6. Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? (2015/06/13)

三、雅思“政府类”题材习作修改

题目

Government should offer financial support to the care of the old people,while others think old people should save money for their own future life. Give your opinion on this topic.

学生习作

With the development of the whole world, people’s living standards im-proved a lot in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for our government to offer financial support to the care of old people, in turn they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that our government should offer financial support to the care of the old people.

Firstly, despite the people’s quality has highly improved, there are still many people who live a life under the average daily living standards, especially the people live in the less developing areas which should be supported by government.Among these people, the old people are poorer in all aspects. There are no living resources since they can’t make any money, and they can’t expect their children neither, for their children make a tough living, too. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s pick up litters on the streets just for food and clothing.

Secondly, offering financial support to old people can increase the whole society’s satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support, they can get the signal from the government who tries to make people’s life happier.

So by the above mentioned I can draw a safe conclusion the government should offer financial support to the old people.

评分：5.5

老雅评改

本题的核心问题是：政府是否该出钱赡养老年人，还是民众应该年轻时自己存钱，老了自己养自己？这个话题在中国现阶段很热门，相关讨论也比较多，观点五花八门，难以统一。政府出钱赡养当然是好事，能够解决很多问题，比如很多老年人老无所养，他们年轻的时候挣的钱都用来培养孩子，也就是社会的下一代了，因此，如果政府不出钱赡养，他们的生活就会很惨淡，这个从小处讲，不利于家庭的幸福，从大处讲，就可能引起社会的不和谐。然而，政府的收入也是有限的，还要投资教育、文化、医疗等其他领域，因此，是否该投钱或者怎样投钱来赡养老人，是一个值得思考的问题。这样，对于政府投资类话题，我们的思考方向就是：首先，政府投资能解决什么问题（投资的好处）？其次，政府投资会影响到其他哪些领域的投资（投资的坏处）？最后，投资的好处和坏处相比较，你的观点倾向于投资还是不投资，或者你有什么更好的建议及其原因？

本学生习作采取一边倒论证方式，即完全赞同政府应该承担赡养老人的经济责任，并提出了两个支持该论点的理由：首先，有些贫穷的老人需要政府的资助；其次，政府资助老人有助于社会和谐。这样写，从内容上讲显得比较单薄，因为完全没有涉及政府资助带来的负面影响，但这样写逻辑比较清楚，如果英文表达水平一般，不妨就这么写，写好了至少也能得到6分。本习作语言基本正确，有一些地方表达不太通顺，影响了得分。

第1段

With the development of the whole world, people’s living standards improved a lot in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for our government to offer financial support to the care of old people, in turn they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that our government should offer financial support to the care of the old people.

[修改 ] With the development of the whole world, people’s living standard has improved a great deal in the past few decades. So some people think it is unnecessary for the government to offer financial support to the care of old people,instead, they should save money for their own future life. As far as I am concerned, I strongly suggest that the government should financially support the old people.

[评析] 本段为开头段，先从人们生活水平提高开始引出某些人的观点，然后提出自己的观点，符合“一边倒”作文的基本格式。（1）improve不适合用过去时，因为后面是in the past few decades（在过去几十年里），这不是一个表示过去的时间概念，而是包括了现在，因此应该用现在完成时。（2）in turn 表示“反过来”，而这里表达转折之意，应该用instead。（3）在同一段里用两次offer financial support to the care of old people，这不合适，应该考虑替换表达法，比如 financially support the old people，或者financially take care of the old people。

第2段

Firstly, despite the people’s quality has highly improved, there are still many people who live a life under the average daily living standards, especially the people live in the less developing areas which should be supported by government.Among these people, the old people are poorer in all aspects. There are no living resources since they can’t make any money, and they can’t expect their children neither, for their children make a tough living, too. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s pick up litters on the streets just for food and clothing.

[修改 ] Firstly, despite that people’s life in general has become much better,there are still many people who live below the average living standard, especially the people in the under developed areas, among whom the old people are the poorest. These old people do not have adequate means of living because they do not work any more and can’t make money, neither can they expect their children to help them, for their children can barely make both ends meet. So sometimes you can see a very old woman or man in their 80s or even 90s picking up litters on the streets just for food and clothing. I believe these old people should be financially taken care of by the government.

[评析] 本段论述政府应该资助那些贫穷地区的老人，因为这些老人生活没有着落。习作内容比较充实，有一些个性化的细节描写，但语言失误比较多。（1）the less developing areas是错误表达，应该为the under developed areas。（2）which 从句所指不明，政府到底是支持这些地区，还是支持这些人？（3）前两句被合成了一个长句。（4）原文their children make a tough living表达比较生硬，老雅用一个比较地道的短语来代替；their children can barely make both ends meet。（4）本段写完了贫困地区老人的困境后，却忘记初衷，没有给出一个结论，老雅增加一句I believe these old people should be financially taken care of by the government，这是段落点睛之笔。

第3段

Secondly, offering financial support to old people can increase the whole society’s satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support, they can get the signal from the government who tries to make people’s life happier.

[修改] Secondly, offering financial assistance to old people can increase the whole society’s sense of satisfaction about their life, which is bene ficial for the government to create a more harmonious society. Even though many people do not need the financial help, they can get the message that the government is trying to make their life happier. I have seen many positive changes in their attitude towards the government after the old people have received the financial support.

[评析]本段写政府资助老人后，社会更和谐。从结构上讲，习作仅仅在写道理，没有结合自身经历进行例证，使这段内容显得程式化，单薄而没有个性。为此，老雅在段落结尾增加了一句。其他修改包括：（1）这段继续使用 financial support，共2次，其实，从避免重复的角度，可以将它们替换为 financial help、 financial assistance 等。（2）Maybe many people even needn’t the financial support是纯中文式表达，这里表示一个让步，最好用even though来引出。（3）who引导的从句修饰government不妥当，这里应该用一个从句修饰signal / message，所以修改为they can get the message that the government is trying to make their life happier。

第4段

So by the above mentioned I can draw a safe conclusion the government should offer financial support to the old people.

[修改] It is important, therefore, for the government to give financial support to the old people, because it can help many old-aged citizens out of their financial dif ficulty and meanwhile help create a better society.

[评析] 这个结尾段无疑是仓促无力的，是被扣分的重要原因之一。结尾必须总结前文讨论的主要观点，在语言上还要尽量避免与前文完全重复。□

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