幽默小故事

严树聚

Final Exam

It was the final English exam at the local college. The exam was two hours long， and exam papers were ready. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam paper on his desk that was not done exactly in two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam， a student hurried into the class and asked the professor for an exam paper.

“You’re not going to have time to finish this，” the professor said as he handed the student an exam paper.

“Yes， I will，” replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours， the professor called for the exams， and the students got up and handed them in. All except the late student， who continued writing.

A half hour later， the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He tried to put his exam on the stack4 of exam papers already there.

“No， you can’t do that. I’m not going to accept that. It’s late.”

The student thought little of it and said angrily， “Do you know who I am？”

“No， as matter of fact I don’t，” replied the professor.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM？” the student asked again.

“No， and I don’t care，” replied the professor with an air of superiority5.

“Good，” replied the student， who quickly lifted the stack of exams， stuffed6 his in the middle， and walked out of the room.

期末考试

在某地方大学里，正要进行英语期末考试。考试时间是两个小时，考卷已准备好了。教授对这次考试很严格，他对学生们说，如果交到他桌上考卷的完成时间不够两小时，他一律不收，并作不及格处理。考试进行了半小时，这时有个学生冲进教室，并問教授要试卷。

“你的时间不够，做不完试卷的，”他边说边递给他试卷。

“不，我会的，”那个学生答道。然后，他就找个位子坐下来开始答题。

两小时后，教授叫大家交答卷，学生们纷纷起身，上交卷子，唯独那个迟到的学生还在不停地写着。

又过了半小时，那个学生找到教授，见他正坐在办公室桌前备课，就试着把自己的答卷放在刚收齐的那堆试卷上。

“不行，你不能这样做，我是不会收的，你交迟了。”

该学生不以为然，而且还气愤地问他：“你知道我是谁吗？”

“不知道，事实上真的不知道，”教授回答。

“你知道我是谁吗？”那个学生又问。

“不知道，我才不在乎你是谁呢！”教授摆出一副高人一等的神情。

“那好，”那个学生说着，就立刻掀起那堆答卷，把自己的卷子塞在中间，随即走出了房间。