Believe in Yourself and You’ll Succeed

杨淑玲

When I was very young， I was so shy that I never go out to play with other children.

One day， my uncles son wanted to play football with me， but I was afraid that the ball maybe hit my head. So I refused him. My mother was a little angry. She told me that I must learn to play football because I was a boy， and some day I would be a brave man. Only a brave man can become a useful person. But I didnt believe in myself and I thought I was so① stupid to play football. I was very short and thin. Whats more， I ran so slowly that I couldnt catch the ball. But my mother told me I should believe in myself. She said if I believe② in myself， I must succeed to play③ football. She kept on telling me how to play football. In the football field， she ran about and asked me to run after her.

At first I was slow， but little by little I could control the ball. I ran after the ball round the playground. After half an hour， my mother invited some boys to play football together with us. I believed I could do well， so I was very excited. I tried my best to run after the ball. I was no longer afraid of hitting my head， and I was not nervous any longer. At last I kicked my first goal. My mother cheered me on happily. I was so proud that I felt I was a great man.

From then on， I always believe in myself and I think I must succeed in the future.

山东省汶上县汶上镇第二中学九年级二班 王红

点评

1. 优点：

这篇习作总体上不錯，整篇短文语句流畅，叙事有条有理，句子富于变化，能够使用各种句型增加文章的美感。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① so改为too。与后面的to play 构成“too...to...”的结构。

② believe改为believed。此处没有注意前后时态的一致性。主句的谓语动词用了一般过去时态，则从句的时态是相应的过去时。

③ to play改成in playing。“succeed in doing sth.”指的是“成功做某事”。

3. 评分：

按中考英语作文满分15的评分标准，本文修改前可得12分。