你能记住的只是些精彩 间——《美国丽人》中莱斯特的最后独白

绘◎修介

你能记住的只是些精彩 间
——《美国丽人》中莱斯特的最后独白

You can Only Remember Those Wonderful Moments

绘◎修介

They said your entire life flashes in front of your eyes when you die， it's not really your entire life， it's just the moment that stood out， and they are not the ones you'd expected， either. The moment you remember are tiny ones， some you haven't thought of in years， if you've thought them at all， but in the last second of your life， you remember them with a astonishing clarity①clarity 英 ［'klærɪtɪ］ 美 ［'klærəti］ n. 清楚，明晰；透明， because they are just too beautiful， that they must have been imprinted in a cellular②cellular 英 ［'seljʊlə］ 美 ［'sɛljəlɚ］ adj. 细胞的；多孔的；由细胞组成的 n. 移动电话；单元level.

For me it was， lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp， watching falling stars， and yellow leaves from the ginkgo③ginkgo 英 ［'gɪŋkgəʊ； 'gɪŋkəʊ］美 ［'gɪŋkgo］ n. ［植］ 银杏；银杏树trees that lined our street； or my grandmother's hands， and the way her skin seemed like paper， and the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new GTO； And， the way I felt when Angela first smile at me.

I guessed I could be pretty pissed off④be pissed off 发怒about what happen to me， but it's hard to stay mad， when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once， and it's too much，my heart fills up like a balloon that is about to burst. And then I remember to relax， and stop trying hold on to it， and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment for my stupid little life.

他们说，在你死去的瞬间，你的一生都会从你的眼前一闪而过，其实，闪过的并不是你的一生，只是那些精彩的瞬间。你回想起的都是曾经显得那么渺小，有些甚至你从来不曾想过的片段。但在你生命的最后关头，你会记得无比清晰，因为它们是如此美好，应该被刻骨铭心地写入回忆中。

对于我，它们就意味着当我还是小男孩时，躺在童子军帐营外的草地上看着流星划过夜空，或者在我们家的大街上拾起银杏树上飘落的片片黄叶，还有我的奶奶，她的手摸起来感觉像是一张纸，还有当我第一次看到我的堂兄托尼开着一辆红色的火鸟跑车，还有，当安吉拉对我微笑时我心中涌起的激荡情怀。

我想，我也许会对发生在自己身上的事感到气愤，但一想到这世间有那么美好的事物，我一下子就豁然开朗了。有时我会想把它们一览无余尽收眼底，但是它们的分量实在是太过沉重，我的心会像一个气球一样胀满，随时要炸开一般。于是我学会了怎样放手，不再紧抓不放。然后，它们像雨水一般，流过了我的身体，我不再有任何感觉，除了对我那卑微生命中的每一刻所充满的无限感激。