害怕被吐槽？那就别再吐槽别人了

文/Karen Ann Kennedy 绘/花步

害怕被吐槽？那就别再吐槽别人了

Stop Judging Anyone Else

文/Karen Ann Kennedy 绘/花步

About a month ago， I thought I would try to go a whole day without judging anyone else I encountered. Have any of you ever tried it？ It's incredibly①incredibly英 ［ɪn'kredɪblɪ］ 美 ［ɪn'krɛdəbli］ adv. 难以置信地；非常地hard.

There was the woman walking down the street blowing cigarette smoke in her kid's face； the guy at the beach wearing his bright yellow banana hammock②hammock 英 ［'hæmək］ 美 ［'hæmək］ n. 吊床；吊铺；吊带 vt. 睡吊床； and the woman at the grocery store with 30 items in the 15-items-orless line.

My challenge of going a whole day without judging actually turned into an exercise that said less about the people around me and more about myself； it caused me to start examining myself.

I wonder if sometimes we fear the way others respond to us because the way they treat us is a mirror of the way we ourselves behave. Maybe that's why we notice certain attributes③attribute英 ［ə'trɪbjuːt］ 美 ［ə'trɪbjut］ n. 属性；特质 vt. 归属；把……归于in others， and maybe that's why those attributes can get under our skin. Perhaps it's because deep down we identify with these behaviors that rub④rub 英 ［rʌb］ 美 ［rʌb］ vt. 擦；摩擦；惹怒 vi. 擦；摩擦；擦破 n. 摩擦；障碍；磨损处us the wrong way.

D u r i n g my day of no judgment， I tried hard to focus my thoughts inward， so as not to be tempted to judge. And while I was taking a good hard look at myself， I realized that my fear of being judged came from my own tendency to judge.

"Look at her shoes； I can't believe she wore that dress； check out that guy's hair." Maybe it's just human nature to do this， but once I became conscious of the habit， I realized how often I do it， which brought up the milliondollar question： "Who am I to judge？" No one， that's who!

大约一个月前的一天，我突然想要尝试坚持一天不去评判任何人。有人试过这么做吗？真的很难。

一位女士在街上走着，喷了一口烟在她孩子的脸上；沙滩上，一位男子躺在香蕉形大吊床上；杂货店的某个女人带着三十多件商品却跑去“15件以下”的队伍结账……

坚持一天不去评判别人，这项挑战到后来更像是一种练习，锻炼我少说闲话，多关注自己。它让我开始审视我自己。

我很好奇，是不是有时我们害怕别人对待自己的态度是因为这恰好映射出了我们的行为。也许，这也是为什么我们会对别人身上某些特质特别敏感、特别抓狂。

在没有了评判的一整天中，我试着关注自己的内心，这样就不会有对人指手画脚的想法了。然而当我好好反省自己的时候，我认识到，我对外界评判的恐惧竟然来源于自己评判别人的习惯。

“看她那双鞋啊！”“这种裙子她也敢穿出来？”“看那男人的发型。”也许这些都是人之本性，而一旦我注意到这一习惯，就会发现它有多频繁。接着关键问题就来了：“我有什么资格去评判？”答案就是：没有！