幽默小故事

山东省梁山县杨营中学 于莹供稿



幽默小故事

山东省梁山县杨营中学 于莹供稿

Wine Mixed with Water

A man was drinking in a bar and suddenly he cried angrily,“The wine is mixed with water!”

“What are you crying for?”said the bar owner,“Have I forced you to pay for the water?”

酒里渗水了

酒吧间里，一个男人在喝酒。突然他气愤地喊起来：“这酒里掺水了！”

“你喊什么？”酒吧老板说道，“我强迫你付水钱了吗？”

Old Paper

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a pile1of papers,yelling,“Read all about it.Fifty people are taken in! Fifty people are taken in!”

Curious,a man walked over,bought a paper,and checked the front page.What he saw was yesterday’s paper.

The man said,“Hey,this is an old paper,where is the story?”

The newsboy ignored2him and went on calling out,“Read all about it.Fiftyone people are taken in!”

旧报纸

街角处有一个报童守着一大摞报纸在大声叫卖：“读报啦！50人受骗了！50人受骗了！”

一个男人好奇地走上前去买了一份报纸，看了看头版，发现这是一份昨天的报纸。

这个男人说：“嘿，这是旧报纸，哪里有这则报道？”

报童不理睬他，继续高声叫卖：“读报啦！51人受骗了！”A Dead Fly

Mr.Smith:Waiter,there is a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter:Yes,sir,I know—it’s the heat that kills it.

一只死苍蝇

史密斯先生：服务员，我的汤里有一只苍蝇。

服务员：是的，先生，我知道了，它可能是被烫死的。

It’s Not That“May I borrow your record

player tonight?” a man asked his

neighbour.

“Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?”

“No,”he answered, “Tonight I

want to have some peace.”

不是那样的“今晚我可以借用一下你的录音机吗？”一个男子问他的邻居。

“当然可以。你要听音乐吗？”“不，”他回答。“今晚我想安静一下。”

The Common Practice

“John,”said his teacher, “if coal is selling at $60 per ton and you pay your seller $240, how many tons will he bring you?”

“A little over three tons, sir,” said John quickly.

“Oh, John, that isn’t right.”said the teacher.

“No, sir, I know it isn’t,”said John, “but they all do it.”惯例

“约翰，”老师问道，“如果一吨煤卖60 美元，你给卖家240 美元，可以买几吨？”

“老师，三吨多一点。”约翰立刻回答。

“哦，约翰，不对。”老师说。“是的，老师，我知道不对，”约翰说，“但是他们都这样做。”

X Rays

Examining the X rays,the doctor said,“Nothing to worry about.You should live to be ninety.”

“But Doctor,”the patient said,“I am ninety.”

“See?I was right!”the doctor said.

X光片

医生一边检查X光片，一边说：“没有什么好担心的。你应该可以活到90岁。”

“可是，医生，”病人说，“我今年已经90岁了。”看吧？我说的没错吧！”医生回答。Chasing3the Hat

A near-sighted4man lost his hat in a strong wind.He hurried to chase.A woman screamed5from a nearby farmhouse,“What are you doing there?”

“Getting my hat,”he replied.

“Your hat,”cried out the woman,“That’s my little black hen you’re chasing.”

追赶帽子

一个近视眼的人在一场大风中丢了他的帽子，他忙去追赶。附近的一家农舍里传来一个妇女的尖声叫喊：“你在干什么？”

“追我的帽子。”

“你的帽子！”妇女惊叫，“你正在追赶的是我的小黑母鸡。”

A Woman and Her Three Dogs

A woman had three dogs, one called“Earthquake”, another called“Tidal Waves6”, and the third called “Lie”.

One day the dogs ran away from the woman. The woman began to call, “Earthquake! ”All the people got very scared and began running. Then she cried out,“Tidal Waves! ”All the people started climbing up the trees.

Then she called out,“Lie.”And then the people came and hit the woman.女人和她的三只狗

一位妇女养了三只狗，一只狗叫“地震”，另一只叫“海啸”，第三只叫“谎话”。

一天，三只狗跑开了。这位妇女高声叫道：“地震！”所有的人都万分惊慌，开始逃跑。

接着，她又大声喊：“海啸！”所有的人都爬上了树。最后，她喊道：“谎话！”于是人们过去将她痛打了一顿。