You’ve got questions, she’s got answers

（but you probably wont like them）

I always get scam emails from “Nigerian princes”. How would you handle this？

Scammed Sam

I would tell them that I am a 贪污的（t`nw$ de， corrupt）Chinese official with billions of dollars facing a serious调查（di3och1， investigation） who is looking for a foreign account as well. Or， maybe I would tell them that I am a后代（h7ud3i， descendent） of Manchurian royalty who has just inherited a 秘密的 （m#m# de， secret） map that would lead to treasures buried somewhere in the Northeastern provinces. Anyone who資助（z～zh&， funds） my expedition would get 20 percent. Honestly， I dont know how such a 又傻又天真 （y7u sh2 y7u ti`nzh8n， stupid and naive） scam became popular in the first place. You would probably have better luck getting a screenplay out of it.

Should we have a second child now that its an option？

Mr. and Mrs. Wang

Of course. You know， they used to award medals to women who gave birth to a dozen kids， calling them 英雄母亲 （y～ngxi5ng m^qin，  heroic mothers）？ Russia is still doing it. These glorious days will be back in no time. How can we keep up with建设社会主义（ji3nsh- sh-hu#zh^y#， building the Socialist society） without any接班人 （ji8b`nr9n， successors）？ I understand your hesitation may come from the high cost of raising kids nowadays， but dont be so 自私 （z#s～， selfish）. Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. Its time to牺牲  （x～sh8ng， sacrifice ）！

Spring Festival is coming， but I hate having giving hongbao （money envelopes） to my relatives kids. What should I do？

Michael Ma

No one likes熊孩子（xi5ngh1izi， spoiled brats）， especially when they are taking your 血汗钱（xu-h3nqi1n， hard-earned money） . But what can you do？传统（chu1nt6ng， tradition） is tradition. You might as well make the experience worthwhile. Ask the kids how they are doing in exams and whether they have finished their homework， and theyll run， leaving you with a 宁静的（n！ngj#ng de， peaceful） holiday. Also think of it as an 投资 （t5uz～，  investment）， in two decades or so when these kids get jobs， theyll have to pay your kids. What if you dont have kids you ask？ Refer to the question above！