幽默小故事

2015-06-08 18:57张超
中学生英语·阅读与写作 2015年5期
关键词:口香糖布朗汤姆

张超

You Are Wrong

Mother: Tom, which month is longer, May or June?

Tom: May, of course.

Mother: No, June is longer, because it has four letters, yet May has only three letters.

Tom: Thats it. Then which month do you think comes first?

Mother: January does.

Tom: No, April usually comes first in every dictionary.

Mother: OK. Do you know what country has the most people?

Tom: Thats easy. China has the most people.

Mother: Aha. You are wrong again. The United Nations has the most people.

你错了

妈妈:汤姆, 五月和六月哪个月更长?

汤姆:当然是五月啦。

妈妈:哦,不是的,六月更长一些,因为它有四个字母,而五月只有三个字母。

汤姆:你说得没错。那么你认为哪个月先到来呢?

妈妈:一月。

汤姆:错啦。在每一本字典中四月总是先出现。

妈妈:好吧。那你知道哪个国家人口最多吗?

汤姆:太简单了。中国人口最多。

母亲:哈哈,你又错了。联合国人口最多。

Father and Son

Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your exam, and you have failed. What were you

doing last term?

Son: I was learning how to drive.

父亲和儿子

父亲:如果你通过了考试, 我答应给你买一辆车,而你却没有通过。上学期你干什么了?

儿子:我在学习开车。

You Get Zero

During a Christmas exam, one of the questions was: “What causes a depression1?” One of the students wrote on the paper: “God knows! I dont. Merry Christmas!”

The exam paper came back with the professors words: “God gets 100! You get zero! Happy New Year!”

你得了0分

圣诞节期间的一次考试,其中的一个问题是:“造成经济萧条的原因是什么?”一个学生在试卷上写道:“上帝知道!我不知道。圣诞快乐!”

试卷带着教授的批语发了下来:“上帝得了100分!你得了0分。 新年快乐!”

Customer and Waiter

Customer: Waiter, just look at the chicken you served. Its nothing but skin and bones!

Waiter: What else do you want, sir? Would you also like the feathers?

顾客和服务员

顾客:服务员,看看你端上来的鸡肉。除了皮和骨头,什么也没有!

服务员:先生,你想要别的什么? 难不成你还喜欢鸡毛吗?

Well Be All Square

Brown: John, would you lend me fifty dollars if I asked you?

John: Yes, I suppose so.

Brown: All right, then, lend me fifty, but just give me twenty-five of it.

John: OK. But why?

Brown: Then youll owe2 me twenty-five, and Ill owe you twenty-five, and well be all square3.

我们俩扯平了

布朗:约翰,如果我开口的话,你能借给我五十美元吗?

约翰:会的,我想我会的。

布朗:好的,那么,就借给我五十美元吧,但你只需给我25美元即可。

约翰:好的。但这是为什么呢?

布朗:那么,你将欠我25美元,我也欠你25美元,我们扯平了。

My Gum

I took my three-year-old son, Jack, to the supermarket. Jack got tired of walking, so I made him ride on my shoulders. As I walked, Jack began pulling my hair. Although I asked him calmly to stop several times. He kept on. Getting angry, I scolded, “Jack! Stop that!”

“Daddy,” he replied, “Im just trying to get my gum back.”

我的口香糖

我带着三岁的儿子杰克去逛超市。杰克走累了,我便让他骑在自己的肩上。走着走着,杰克开始不停地拽我的头发。我好几次耐着性子让他老实点儿,可他就是不听,最后我发火了,呵斥道,“杰克,不要闹了!”

“爸爸,我只是想拿回我的口香糖,”杰克回答道。endprint

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