幽默小故事

张会军

The Fish Net

“Can you tell me what fish net is made， Ann？” asked the teacher.

“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.

鱼网

“你能告诉我鱼网是用什么做的吗，安？”老师问道。

“把许多小孔用绳子拴在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。

A Physics Examination

Once in a physics examination， Nick finished the first question very soon， while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was： when it thunders why do we see the lighting first，then hear the thunder rolls？

Nicks answer： because our eyes are before ears.

物理考试

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在冥思苦想的时候，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

Im A Bachelor

Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. He was going to get treated in hospital. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.

“Anything else，” the nurse asked.

“Yes，” Jack thinks for a while and said，“Im a bachelor.”

我是个单身汉

杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。让杰克填好递上表格。

“还有什么漏填的吗？”护士问。

“有！”杰克想了想说，“我是个单身汉。”

All These People Eat Meals

Wife： You see. According to the statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

Husband： To my investigation1， all these people eat meals.

死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭

妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

丈夫：据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭。

Always Thirsty

“I had an operation，” said a man to his friend， “and the doctor left a sponge2 in me.”

“Thats terrible！” said the friend. “Got any pain？”

“No， but I am always thirsty！”

总感到口渴

一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里

了。”

“真是太可怕了！”朋友说：“你觉得疼吗？”

“不疼，不过我总感到口渴。”

Feel Unhappy

Son： Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy？

Father： Of course.

Son： Fine， now I am feeling so bad， I lost in two subjects this time.

Father （angrily）： What？ You...

心里难受

儿子：是不是当一个人心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或身体上的刺激？

父亲：那当然！

儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

父亲（气愤地）：什么？你……

Compare Other Things

Son： Mom， John has a pair of shoes with Gordons name signed.

Mom： You just care about this？Havent you compared3 other things？

Son： Yes， his mother is prettier than you.

比一下其他的

儿子：妈妈，约翰有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其他的东西吗？

儿子：有啊，他的妈妈比你漂亮。

The Doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed， said to the doctor， “I think that he is very ill.”

“I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.

Hearing this， the man moved his head and said， “Im not dead. Im still alive.”

“Be quiet，” said the wife， “the doctor knows better than you！”

医生懂得多

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒后送进了医院。

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”

医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”

听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”

妻子说：“安静点，医生比你懂得多。”

1. investigation [] n. 调查

2. sponge [] n. 海绵

3. compare [] vt. 比较endprint