医学英语病句诊治(二)

陈振华，邹雨轩（泸州医学院学报编辑部，四川泸州646000）

医学英语病句诊治(二)

陈振华，邹雨轩
（泸州医学院学报编辑部，四川泸州646000）

医学英语；英文摘要；病句；诊治

医学论文的英文摘要是为了国外同行用最短时间（英语为母语者一般仅需若干秒钟）了解该文主要内容，以便阅读者判断是否阅读全文，以及方便科技信息情报检索等。

国人在构思英文语句时难免受汉语语法思维定势的影响，产生一些问题，如句子冗长重复、主谓关系不清等，以致影响读者的阅读速度和理解程度，有的甚至要仔细分析，才能大致弄懂意思。

目前关于英语写作的书籍虽然很多，但医学论文作者往往科研及临床事务繁忙，撰文前一般不会去查阅相关英文文献，日常的工作、学习培训中也未开展相应的课程提高其英文表述能力。

为了切实提高医学论文作者英文摘要的写作水平，我刊推出《医学英语病句诊治》一栏，将我们在编辑过程中遇到的一些具有代表性的病句加以分析和改正，方便读者在翻阅本刊之余，进行浏览，望有收获。

1.病句1

After received an ineffective treatmentof rountine surgical therapy and twice auto-logous skin grafting of 64 days，we present a novel method by which MSCs were harvested from the bone marrow of a patient of confirmed type 2 diabetes who presented with post-traumatic infection and non-healing skin defect in foot.2型糖尿患者足损伤伴重度感染和皮损伤1例，经64天常规手术治疗和2次自体皮移植无效后，将自体MSCs混悬液移植到该患者的足部伤口。

错误性质：句子开头的介词短语看似修饰主语“we"，但不合逻辑，医生不会接受治疗，而是对病人进行治疗。这种错误在语法上叫“悬垂修饰语”(danglingmodifier)，影响阅读理解。

修改：将分词“received"，改成“performed”。即：After performed an ineffective treatment of........，we ........。

或者：加入主语“patient”。即：After the patient had received an ineffective treatmentof........，...........。

此外，因医学论文不宜用第一人称，且应突出主题病人，故应以病人为主语，重新组织句子。

修改后：A type 2 diabetic patient with foot destructive injury combined severe infection and skin defect，after received 64days of ineffective routine surgical therapy and twice autologous skin grafting. was treated with autologous transplantaion of MSCs harvested from his own bonemarrow.

2.病句2

To investigate the'"needles and after ligation of the left renal artery，the artery narrowing caused by the extraction of needles"way to improve the"two kidneys one clip"method of establishing renal hypertension model.目的：探讨“银针与左肾动脉共结扎后抽取银针造成左肾动脉缩窄”的方法以改良“两肾一夾”法复制肾性高血压模型。

错误性质：作者未能清晰表达自己要表达的信息，这是编者在审稿中常见的问题，尤其多见于论文的前言或讨论部分，作者有所创新、有所发现的时候。导致错误的原因常常是词汇掌握不足。以本句为例，作者未能译出“共结扎”一词。另外，“银针抽出导致动脉窄缩”不合逻辑，窄缩是由结扎引起。

修改：首先解决“共结扎”的译法，这必须依靠工具书，即汉英词典和英语词典。共结扎一词是无处查的，但可以从汉英词典查“共”的译法，得到“commen，general，share，together...."等；再查英语词典，只有“together”一词可与动词结合，构成“共同的动作”。因此“共结扎”可译成“ligate together"或"ligation of....together"，更可利用“co-”词冠组成“co-ligation"一词，更为简洁。

To investigate the"ligation of left renal artery and acupuncture needle of different thickness together then extraction of the needle to cause the artery indifferent degree of narrowness"way to improve the" two kidney one clip"method of establishing the renal hypertesion model.

但是命名一个新方法应该言简意赅，不应简单地由各词进行罗列阐释，故可改为：

修改后：To investigate the"two kidneys one controlled ligature"way to improve the"two kidneys one clip"method of establishing renal hypertension model.

3.病句3

To investigate the effect of midorine hydrochloride with different systolic blood pressure on intradialytic hypotension among elderly maintenence hemodialysis patientswith diabetic nephropathy.研究盐酸米多君不同收缩压时给药对防治老年糖尿病肾病维持性透析患者发生透析性低血压的疗效。

错误性质：同病句2，未能表达“不同收缩压时给药"这一关键性概念。“with different systolic blood pressure"修饰“midorine hydrochloride”不合逻辑，药物是不会有血压的。显然，“with”应改为“at”，变成状语，以修饰句中缺少的“给药”一词。

修改：“给药”一词可译成“administer”或简单译成“give”。

修改后：To investigate the effect ofmidorine hydrochloride given at different systolic blood pressure on intradialytic hypotension among elderly maintenence hemodialysis patientwith diabetic nephropathy.

4.病句4

30 rats injected with STZ，surgical cut，glacial acetic acid daub wound to establish intractable skin ulcer of diabetic rat.30只大鼠用STZ注射，手术创伤，和水醋酸涂抹伤口建立糖尿病难癒性溃疡模型。

错误性质：中式英语，单靠词意和词序表达；虽有动词，但未进行词形变化使之与主语的人称和数一致。

修改：选定主语，动词进行一定的人称、数和语气时态变化，使之与主语一致。

修改后：①以rat为主语：30 rats were injected with STZ，made surgical cut，and daubed with glacial acetic acid on the wound to establish themodel of intractable diabetic skin ulcer(IDSU).

②以model为主语：Themodel of IDSU was established by injection of STZ，surgical cut and daub of glacial acetic acid on the wound in 30 rats.

③以STZ等为主语：STZ injection，surgical cut，and daub of glacial acetic acid were applied on 30 rats to establish themodel of IDSU.

④以作者为主语：The authors injected STZ. Into 30 rats，made surgical cut，and daubed glacial acetic acid on the wound to establish the models of IDSU.

可见，英语句子的结构灵活多变，关键是要保持主语—动词—宾语的基本格式，和主谓一致的原则。注意句中的平行结构，即以and连结的并列成分，其结构应相一致。

5.病句5

It is the hot topic to further improve the prognosis of diabetic patients with typical atherogenic dyslipidemia and in high risk of cardiovascuar events with combined lipid-lowering strategies.糖尿病人具典型的致动脉粥样硬化的血脂异常和高度心血管风险，联合降脂治疗成为进一步改善糖尿病预后的热点。

错误性质：修饰语位置错误。本句有5个由介词短语组成的修饰语，最后的“with combined lipidlowering strategies"是状语，修饰句子的动词“to improve”，表示方法，被前面的两个定语修饰语隔开，妨碍了阅读理解。

修改：将错置的修饰语移开，另成一句。

修改后：Diabetic patients have typical atherogenic dyslipidemia and in high risk of cardiovascular events.How to further improve the prognosis of diabetic patients with combined lipid-lowering therapy becomes a hot topic.

6.病句6

CombinatIon of statin and fibrate can more effectively improve the atherosclerotic lipid profile than monotherapy of statin through reduction of LDL-c and increase of HDL-c，thus significantly reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases.他汀联合贝特能比他汀单独治疗更有效地通过降低LDL-c和增高HDL-c以改善致动脉粥样硬化血脂谱，从而显著减少心血管病风险。

错误性质：本句有两个状语修饰语，前后位置颠倒，后一个是修饰主句的谓语，表明方法，应前移；“thanmonotherapy of statin"是修饰主句全句，故应后移。事实上“mono-theray of statin"的地位与“combination of..."相等，其谓语被省略。

修改：将后一修饰语移前。

修改后：Combination of statin and fibrate can more effectively improve the atherosclerotic lipid profile through reduction of LDL-c and increase of HDL-c thanmonotherapy of statin，thus significantly reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases.

（2014-03-25收稿）

H31

A

10.3969/j.issn.1000-2669.2014.02.030

陈振华（1924-），男，副教授，E-mail:lzyxyxb@163.com